Thursday, September 29, 2011

audience of one


Let’s take it back two years and forever ago. It’s the finals of the 2a state basketball tournament, and I’ve never played before a crowd this big. No pressure, right?

My coach is watching from the sidelines. He’s calling the shots, so it’s important that he stays impressed (or at least satisfied) with my performance for the evening. Behind the opponents goal sits the largest student section the Danville Lady Little Johns have ever seen. Gotta keep them happy or things will get real quiet real quick.

And we certainly can’t forget my parents and every single family member that lives less than ten hours away. I can still perfectly visualize exactly where my dad is sitting. I’m not exaggerating when I say that in a stadium of over a thousand people, his is the only voice I can hear.

Back in the day... before I was a has-been.
Clearly, in a situation like this audience is everything. Sure, I play ball for myself—I love this game. But would a state title really mean anything if no one was there to see you win it?

And still here, two years later, laying on the futon in my dorm room, audience is still everything. No, my audience isn’t reclining in stadium-seating with popcorn in hand, but they are still there. And they are still providing that pressure.

My audience is two and half hours away, slaving away at their accounting practice, taking care of my two little brothers, and waiting patiently for my calls that come too seldom and too far between.

My audience is sitting with me in chapel, eating with me at lunch, competing against me in intramurals and working with me in class.

My audience is taking me on dates, sporting a sexy mullet-do and congratulating himself on {almost} putting up with the likes of me for a whole year.

My audience is grading my tests. My audience is reading my stories. My audience is following my blog.

With such an earthly audience, it’s easy to feel the pressure to perform. With their expectations, opinions and judgments, it’s easy to think I have to make a certain grade, look a certain way, or be a certain person.

Sometimes it’s all too much to handle.

But in reality, as a daughter of the king, I only have an Audience of One.

And what sweet relief such knowledge brings. For this One created me exactly the way I am and His purposes for my life are perfect. When I center my life around pleasing Him and following His will, the expectations of our earthly audiences seem so insignificant.

So with the clock ticking and the game of life on the line, who are you playing for?

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
~Galatians 1:10

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