Wednesday, July 24, 2013

it's only wednesday

©Jenny C Fish
I am not feeling much like a Proverbs 31 woman right now.

To be honest, I am still a little confused on how I became old enough to even think I could be a Proverbs 31 woman. It seems like just yesterday my mom was still doing my laundry and making my doctor’s appointments.

Yet, somehow in the past couple of months I have acquired the title of “wife” and I have my own “household.” And as much as I wish I were still that little girl crying about the seams in my socks or broken sidewalk chalk, the reality is that I am now a “woman” and my problems have grown slightly larger than socks or chalk. 

It’s only Wednesday, but already this week:

1. The husband and I managed to get our car locked overnight in a parking garage. We went to meet his classmates from dental school and had no idea that a parking garage could actually close. Needless to say, we had to beg one of our new friends for a ride home. So much for first impressions.

2. I ended my one year and one month streak for no vehicle accidents with a flat tire… in my husband’s car. We were on our way home from retrieving the abandoned car, and I ran over something or hit the storm drain or something that jarred the car. I immediately could tell it was flat, and it took us over an hour in the midday sun to put on the spare.

3. I have developed some kind of skin disease on my left ring finger. Yes, the place for my wedding ring. It started off as an itchy irritation but somehow developed into a puss-filled infection. It is currently soaked in peroxide and Neosporin, wrapped in gauze and tape, and very diamond-less.

And the most heartbreaking…

4. Another prospective employer said “no.”  I felt pretty hopeful on this one, but I was not really sure if it was where God wanted me to be. Great hours, great atmosphere and great pay, but not great experience for my resume. I actually prayed that if God didn’t want me there, that I would not get the job, because it would be really hard to say no.

With all these “setbacks,” I’m not feeling very “strong” or “dignified.” And even Daniel is having trouble making me laugh. I am ashamed to admit that I am “fearing the future.” Daniel starts school on Friday, and I am still jobless. He’s been my safety net this past month, so I am afraid I might go a little crazy in this house by myself all day.

I know God has a perfect job out there for me. He’s been sending me countless bits of Scripture to reassure me that He has everything under control and asking me to place more trust in Him. Please pray I can do just that.

“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.”
-Psalm 143:8

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
-Romans 8:28

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
-Jeremiah 29:13

And my favorite Psalm and the inspiration behind this blog:

“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I am far away.
You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends You,
And lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

-Psalm 139:1-4, 23-24

2 comments:

  1. Stand firm! God's plan is infinitely better than the one you have for yourself. And that skin disease? I think I have it, too. I've been married 6 years, and in 6 years I've only ever worn my rings in public. I've decided the problem is actually caused by water being trapped under my rings after I wash my hands. Gotta wash my hands!

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement! And good to know! It never happened while I was engaged, just since I have been married. I am hoping soldering the two together will help!

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