Saturday, October 26, 2013

dependency vs. self-reliance

Lately, I have been in a fitness funk. Health has always been something that is important to me. Exercise has always been a priority. Eating right has always been a goal.

However, the last couple of months have been hard. A prescription mix-up left my hormones out of whack. Trips pushed me off my routine. Then a sinus cold had me hitting the snooze button instead of my running route.

On top of that, the lack of exercise leaves me stressed, and the more stressed I feel, the more likely I am to grab for my chocolate stash.
I’ve tried to fix these feelings myself:
·      I adjusted my grocery list, eliminating all processed, sugar-laden food. I even gave up my favorite cereal.
·      I started reading my old SELF and Fitness magazines, cover to cover, because they always motivate me.
·      I only browse the “Health & Fitness” section of Pinterest to avoid looking at all the yummy treats and goodies.
·      I switched up my workout schedule, moving morning workouts to the evening.

But none of my planning has worked. I might have even made myself sicker by forcing workouts when I wasn’t feeling 100 percent.

Then last week, my Jesus Calling devotional read, “When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without my help. This is a subtle sin – so common that it usually slips by unnoticed.”

And because I didn’t get the message the first time, a couple of days later, I was reading The Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler where he said, “The idolatry in our hearts always wants to lead us away from the Savior and towards self-reliance.”

Even this morning, when I already knew what I was going to write about, the Jesus Calling for today read, “This is the age of self-help. Bookstores abound with books about “taking care of number one,” making oneself the center of all things. The main goal of these methodologies is to become self-sufficient and confident. You, however, have been called to take a ‘road less traveled,’ continual dependence on me.”

When I rely on myself alone, I am heading straight toward disaster. I am a sinner living in a fallen world, and I will continually fail. I may plan meals and schedule workouts, but sometimes my broken, earthly body will not, cannot abide.

I am the same way with other areas of my life. I continually try to control my life and the circumstances that surround it. I change up the variables, hoping for my desired outcome.

But really, I have been called to depend fully, completely on God. I have been called to let go of my delusions of control and moment-by-moment trust in Him. He is all that I need, just when I need it. My deepest desires find fulfillment in Him alone.

For me, this has been a life-long lesson – one I still have not completely learned. I always have trouble with the application. And, I am so thankful for a faithful God, who doesn’t give up on me.

Trust in the Lord and do good.
    Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
    and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
~Psalm 37:3-6


  1. Jenny!!!! Thank you for this reminder. I needed it this weekend :) {and always....}

  2. You're welcome! I hope all is going well! This is my lesson, too, every. single. time.