Thursday, February 27, 2014

t3 - why i could never be in a workout video

This is Tania from Insanity aka "The Machine" - I want to be her when I grow up. If this picture isn't enough to convince you, then you should definitely Google image her.

You’re probably going to think I’m crazy, but I’ve always wanted to be a back up girl in a workout video. You know those fantastically fit women who stand behind Jillian Michaels and actually do the entire workout while Jillian yells at them?

It doesn’t sound like a very fun job, but think it through: Those women get paid to workout with some of the best physical trainers in the world. Can you think of better motivation to get off the couch and start sweating?

But the more that I think about it, the more I realize I would never be chosen for such an honor – even if I was in the best shape and could complete the entire workout with perfect form. Here’s why:

#1 My sweat glands. I would literally become a liability approximately four minutes into the filming. Did I mention I’m an excessive sweater? As in, I spend my Insanity water breaks mopping up the sweat off the mat instead of actually drinking water. If I were really in a video, I or another back up would be guaranteed to slip and fall on my large puddle of sweat. So to prevent injury, it would only be logical to turn me down.

#2 My lack of balance. You’d figure this one out two minutes into a yoga session – I have no balance. Cardio and endurance? Sign me up! Balance? Eh… not so much. So I could probably make it to the very end of auditions for Kenpo X {from P90X} and then they’d ask me do a simple quad stretch and yell, “Pass!” when I couldn’t even stand on one foot.

#3 My not-so-attractive get-up. If they managed to get past the fact that my excessive sweating means perfect post-workout hair and makeup are out of the question, they’d definitely take one look at my outfit and tell me to kick the curb. No way am I working out in front of thousands of people with only a sports bra and shorties that cover less than my underwear. Give me some Nike shorts and a cut-off tee and I’m ready to go. What? My junior high district champs shirt sans sleeves isn’t the look you were going for? Darn it.

This list could probably go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

What’s a crazy job you’ve always wanted to do?


  1. i've never even thought of that as being a job before! isn't that crazy?! but that would be super awesome to get paid to work out with awesome trainers!!! :)

  2. I could never be in a workout video either... But that's because of my tummy pudge. ;-)

  3. Hahahaha... I'm a sweater, too! I feel your pain on that end!

  4. They do! I wonder if they really love it or if they're just really good actors?

  5. It would be the perfect motivation for sure! I was {weirdly} reading about Tania above, and she's actually the COO of the Shaun T Enterprise - so maybe it's not really as cool as I think.

  6. Psh... what tummy pudge? "Whachu talkin' bout Willis?"

  7. I think it's a sign we're healthier - are bodies are just extra capable of sweating out all the bad stuff, right?

  8. I could never be in a workout video either, especially a yoga one!

    I always wanted to be a flight attendant but then I realized they just pick up trash, hand out drinks and have to deal with people. I think I really wanted the free flights...

  9. One of my friend's mom was a flight attendant and he would just pick up and go travel to Hawaii, New York, California at the drop of a hat! So maybe you just need to be related to a flight attendant!

  10. i love insanity. whenever i do any of his workouts and tania is in them, i compete with her because well, there can only be one asian hahahaha!

    Vodka and Soda