Monday, October 27, 2014

every high thing must come down

I have read enough blog posts about blogging to know it’s taboo to apologize for skipping a day, week, month of posting, which is probably for the best because I don’t feel apologetic. But I will acknowledge I’ve been gone because these last two months have been transformational. Sometimes you have to step away from the noise - or be pulled away, in my case - to clearly hear what God is saying and act on it. Sometimes you have to give up something{s} you love, not because they are bad, but because they’ve ascended too high on your priority list. And sometimes you have to share your messiness with the internet world, because you never know who needs to hear these words:




3 months ago…

a very dear friend confronted me about my blog. She thought it was an unhealthy way to deal with my issues about body image. It appeared that instead of confiding in a friend or counselor about my struggles, I was hiding behind posts on food and exercise and receiving affirmation through comments from strangers.

She was worried about my emotional and mental health, and I’m forever grateful for friends who aren’t afraid to confront me on the tough things in life. The more I thought and prayed about it, the more I decided that she was a little off in her conclusion. Though, I couldn’t shake the feeling of truth behind her words.

A long battle against the devil’s lies that I am not beautiful enough - not worthy enough - not disciplined enough are certainly part of my history, and I will always wear those scars. But they are a constant reminder of God’s incredible healing work in my life. It’s from this healing I developed a love for a wholesome approach to healthy living.

Exercise, real food and a good night’s sleep are things I’m passionate about, so they naturally became the things I wrote about. Your comments were always encouraging, but they were never my standard of worth. However, my friend’s words forced me to really examine the role blogging plays in my life.


2 months ago…

I attended the Living Proof Live conference with Beth Moore in Memphis with my mom. Honestly, I wasn’t ready for a FedExForum full of estrogen, but God rarely takes us on the path of least resistance. In the middle of all the crying and the handholding and the long lines to the bathroom, God spoke to me from Luke 8:26-29. “Where does the devil have a foothold in your life?” He asked. “What’s keeping you from an abundant life in me?”

Control.

It’s such a nasty word. But my Type A personality wants to cuddle it like a soft, furry little puppy and never let it go. The disconnect between my knowledge and behavior is almost laughable. I know that I know that I have no control over my life, yet I meticulously plan every single detail. And that’s where you could find the devil’s disgusting fingerprints.

These attempts at control manifested most in my efforts to live a healthy lifestyle. Exercise plans, new recipes, grocery lists, weigh-ins, food logs, sleep schedules, and writing blog posts about all of the above were consuming my time. I was passionate about my physical health, but my spiritual health began to suffer. The big question I left that weekend pondering was “What could God do with all the time I spend focusing on my health?”


1 month ago…

I discovered the answer to that question. I put my scale in the back of my closet. I created a simple workout routine, but I don’t sweat it if I miss a session or two. I try new recipes, but mostly stick with the basics. I don’t write down everything I eat. I don’t count my calories. I don’t cut out food groups. And - the biggie - I stopped blogging.

The last thing was probably the game changer. If you’re part of the blogging community, you know exactly what a time-suck it can be. All of a sudden, I was available. Available for mid-week dates with my husband. Available for phone calls with college housemates. Available for Bible study on “whatever night works for you.” Available for a Sunday afternoon nap. And most importantly, available for God to work in meaningful ways in my life. Available to experience the abundance and joy that can only be found in Him.  

I certainly don’t think my blogging career is over - I constantly have the itch to write - but you’ll probably never read a “What I Ate Wednesday” post on Pretty Is As Pretty Does again. This is me checking it out of the blogging “game” of link-ups and sponsorships and replying to every. single. comment. I might post twice a month or twice a day, but my time will no longer be “controlled” by an unrealistic blogging schedule or expectations.

I’m daily learning to align my actions with my knowledge and give up this attitude that I “control” everything in my life - including this blog - by His grace alone and for His glory alone.

So in the words of my favorite guy in the world, “I’ll see you… when I see you.”


What high thing or foothold is preventing you from experiencing a life of abundance?

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